To Cote d'Ivoire With Love

Ever heard of "scam-baiting"? It's when you actually respond to those emails from Nigeria (or other African regions, usually filled with some sappy story in broken English requesting help moving money) and try to waste their time leading them on. I don't have time for such shenanigans, so I thought I'd try to decisively settle a blossoming relationship that begun today when I received the following email:

From: pascal zadi Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2008 4:32:54 PM

Hello Dear
I am happy meeting you,
My name is Pascal Zadi I hope this mail finds you well & healthy and i hope we can established a relationship since we are meeting for the first time,i have gone through fasting and prayers asking God to lead me to a trust worthy person who will help me with this transaction and it interests me to contact you aftter my prayers for an assistance to help me transfer this Sum of 10.7 Million USA dollars my father deposited in a bank here in Cote d'Ivoire before he was assasinated.i like honesty,trust,love,truth,caring,& respect,i have all this qualities in me and i believe you have all this qualities too, that is why i decided to contact you for this transaction,i will like you to contact me as soon as possible through my private email so that we can know ourselves better. you can as well call me on phone (00225 6634 7640) Thanks and hoping to hear from you soonest

Pascal Zadi

Here is the response I sent:

Hello Pascal,
I am happy meeting you as well. Thank you for considering me for your financial transactions. I am actually quite honest, caring and respectful, especially when it comes to my own family. This is really a wild coincidence, but as much as I would love to assist you with your inheritance (I'm assuming I would receive a "handler's fee"), I have a bit of a confession to make (I am, after all, honest). You see, I was in the Ivory Coast recently and I...well, this is rather awkward...I...killed your father (a Mr. Zadi, right?). Please understand, it was nothing personal, I was just carrying out my employer's orders. Please accept my sincere condolences and I hope you find someone as equally caring, honest, and trusting as myself (but without a conflict of interest) to help you with your problem. May I suggest an associate of mine, Mr. "Shells" O'Rourke (shells@exterminators.com). He covers our Near East region and would be happy to help you.

Cheers,
Malky